watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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