I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
