i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
