i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
