If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
