Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
