I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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