I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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