Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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