Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
