We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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