Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize