He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
