Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
