I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
