We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
