yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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