wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Girls should come with a carfax report
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
