just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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