fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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