I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just found puke in my bra..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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