I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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