Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
