i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
