He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
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That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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