the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I look better un-naked...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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