im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.