how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??