Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once