Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.