It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.