You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
