I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
