if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
