I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize