so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
