I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
