HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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