Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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