Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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