If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
