I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize