Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
