Apparently you make a good broom.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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