It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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