Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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