I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
