I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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