He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
