just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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