Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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