We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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