how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
