Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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