I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
