During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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