I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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