My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
