So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
