Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
