South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
