FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
