WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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