He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize