We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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